Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution: Coming to terms with differences of opinion and personality

In the course of relationships, be they on the home front or in the workplace, inevitably, conflicts can arise. Sometimes these are minor, and can be ignored or worked around. Other times, they are greater and create an environment of hostility and in some cases, a level of “warfare”. Sides are taken, offenses are stored, and minor incidents escalate into greater and greater personal discomfort.

At home, this can cause communication breakdowns that lead to disruptive, abusive, even dangerous outcomes for all concerned. Or, on a minor scale, a closing off, an emotional isolating behavior takes hold and affects everyone who lives within the walls. Everyone reacts to a state of war. Even if the reaction is fear and loathing and is suppressed to prevent escalation.

At work, this can cause for low morale, lapses in productivity, sloppy work, absenteeism and worse.
In all cases, if the situation is left unchecked, other symptoms will arise, including angry confrontations and physical illnesses.

Conflict resolution is not a panacea. It is a way of bringing opposing factions together to discuss the situation, get at the core of the behaviors (which is often lost in the escalation which takes on a life of it’s own). It is designed to teach all sides how to see their own behaviors and how they play a part in feeding the fires of resentment, and how they can make changes within themselves that will de-escalate the hostility and tension around them.

It teaches people who have acquired abusive behaviors and personas, how to make the necessary changes in order to be more approachable, less threatened, and easier to get along with.

It opens up the doors of communication, respect and understanding.

True, there are cases wherein some people won’t budge. They will not let go of their behaviors, regardless. For them, the consequences of these behaviors rest solely on their shoulders and sometimes, steps must be taken to remove that person from a particular environment.

In most cases, however, a mutual understanding of one another’s viewpoint leads to either dissolving the conflict entirely and preventing new eruptions of the same sort. At the very least, it can lead to a greater understanding of what the disagreement is, and how to get around it. Agreeing to disagree without head-butting to force the other one to change their point of view, can lead to a healthier home or workplace environment.

In conflict resolution work, each side is counseled individually to best define their point of view in the matter. This is often the first time that either side has been fully listened to. Suggestions are made and some exercises are done that can strengthen that person’s best communication skills, and create newer, more useful techniques for that individual to get their point across or to deal with someone else’s behaviors.

After a time, when both sides have been listened to and new skills in place, then all sides can be brought together and counseled as one. The facilitator guides the discussions and keeps both sides on track.
Once all sides have the necessary skills, and uses them appropriately, the matter is resolved. Peaceful negotiations are the best outcome in any conflict resolution because they carry forward beyond the workplace or home environment, into the community at large.

If one or neither side is willing to use the skills or make the necessary changes, then other means of resolution must be considered.

In this day and age when there are greater and greater pressures put on more and more people who have either poor role models or lack the support for constructive personality resolutions, conflict resolution has become one of the best resources for stopping the cycles of abuse, violence, and intimidation at home, in the workplace, and with those we interact with on a daily basis.

If you would like to know more about Lee Saunders methods for Conflict Resolution Counseling, and how it will work for your situation, contact Lee Saunders.